Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Adoration is a drag/drug

I tend to think I'm a pretty humble person.  I honestly don't like to be in the spotlight, and I rarely take compliments well for my work.  Anything beyond, "Nice job" starts to make me feel uncomfortable.

This, of course, is problematic when you release a book that people are enjoying.  So I get things like coworkers who pass it around the office, and then start asking me questions about it in front of people.  Or, perhaps, I have a friend who tells his bartender in New York City about it, and the bartender proceeds to write my name down on a napkin.  And so on.

On the one hand, this feels good.  People are obviously enjoying my book, which I'm proud of, and are proud of me.  On the other hand, I'm uncomfortable with a level of celebrity.  It felt weird when I was down in Baltimore signing autographs at Shore Leave in 2006 for "Strange New Worlds" and it feels kinda weird now.  But why?

Why?

It seems strange to me that I want people to read and enjoy my work, but that I don't particularly want to get lots of compliments on it.  If people want to discuss the stories with me, I'm more than willing to do so.  I'd love to hear which ones people enjoy, which ones they didn't, and why or why not.

Whatever, I'm a weird person.  It's very late at night, and I haven't written much this week.  I spend the weekend in New York City (which was awesome) and then I've been all off-kilter on my schedule and splitting time between my apartment and my parents' house helping out with some stuff there.  It's making me a little anxious.  I've been so productive lately that taking this time off feels... bad.


Current TV:
'30 Rock' Season 6